You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
