I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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