You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
