You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to sanitize my soul.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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