I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
