Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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