He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
