My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
