dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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