Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
