Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
