No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
