Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
