i don't like sucking hair
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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