I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
