tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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