I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
