what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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