What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
