I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
