You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
