Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
