All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
