i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
