so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize
