he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
