As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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