it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
