I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
