so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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