So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
