she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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