I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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