i permit you to call me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
