Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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