Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
