I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
