he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
