he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
