im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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