I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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