I want to walk on stilts...naked
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
