So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Randomize
