the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
