YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
