I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
