she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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