I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
