So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
