how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
