OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
