She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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