thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
