why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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