Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
